| This semester has been fraught with drama among the staff (8 Teaching Assistants and 1 professor) as well as with the students. Yet every time I think I'm at my breaking point, ready to walk away, my students remind me how worthwhile this job is. It's not as if they know those moments I need a lift, nor do they do anything really extraordinary. However the small things touch and motivate me.
- the student who offers me homemade venison jerky
- the students who come to Open Lab just because I am there
- the students who apologize for "bringing down the section's average" (all the while I am just sorry for their sakes, not mine)
- the students who laugh at my jokes (considering some of my jokes, that's amazing)
- the students who make me laugh
- the one student who never fails to bring a smile to my face
- the student, who though never achieving the score she wants, never stops putting in more effort than anyone else
- the students who include me in their lives
- the students who tease me to make me blush
- the students who transform lab into a fun learning experience from a tedious classroom
- the student who knows those (allegedly) esoteric words like "genuflect"
Some may ask why those things make such a difference. For me, they make teaching personal, real, vibrant. I treasure those moments with my students when they make that breakthrough and smile. I know that I helped make that leap; I've helped make a difference.
Speaking of the drama among all eight TAs - seriously, some people never seem to outgrow high school. At the beginning of the semester, the professor (DH) put me in charge of the labs. The TA who has worked for DH the longest (JT) grew jealous. A few weeks into the semester she attacked me, personally and professionally. She approached DH with "evidence" of how I discriminated against students of the other TAs to the benefit of mine, how I read the other TA's confidential evaluation forms, how I had blackmail on all the other TAs, etc. JT couldn't have evidence because I never did anything she alleged. I've experienced the reason why none of the older TAs likes that rabble rouser. She kept telling the other TAs that she was the Head TA and that no one should listen to me. It threw the lab into chaos, and the trust among all the staff evaporated. Many of us still walk on eggshells. What's worse is that JT asked some of my former students for "dirt" on me. It maddened me that she involved students. She should have kept this among the staff. Then she complained that I was leaking this drama to the students. Does she not think that my former students not know any of my current students? While things eventually have been somewhat ironed out, she refuses to have anything to do with me. How childish. Even though she attacked me personally, I would not refuse to work with her on a professional basis. Friction has aggravated the nerves of most of the staff, to the extent that the friendly work environment has disappeared. To the exclusion of JT, I have managed to get everyone else on friendly terms again with one another. She rebuffs all my overtures, and rejects many of those from the others.
As if the toxic work environment weren't stressful enough, the dealings with the Deans, Administrators, and the Provost at the University have incurred more than one restless night. While many believe that JT should face some administrative discipline for her false allegations and her conduct with the students (she yells at them, has hit more than one, and always has dreadful allegations - according to her and students), no one is willing to enact any measures to prevent her from doing this again or correct her interactions with the students. It's unimaginably frustrating. The students deserve better. However, when I help my students, it all seems worthwhile.
My other consolation is that my students are flourishing, earning the highest averages on the lab practicals. I am glad my teaching style is so effective.
Here's an amusing exchange between DH and myself as I helped him total all the grades yesterday (he refuses to use Excel):
DH: Miss B---, I am such a loser.
Me: DH, no one who thinks I am a powerful Jedi knight can ever be a loser. (that is his nickname for me.)
DH: Good point. At least that's something.
So what colour light saber would I have? Hmmm.... 
Have y'all seen this video: Susan Boyle - Britain's Got Talent. And you never thought you'd see Simon Cowell be nice or human.
I know I have not posted in ages. I promise more light-hearted stories in the future.
God Bless!
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